The one about the TAPS support group

It’s a quick update, I know.  I’m actually trying to be good and stick to my scheduled blogging times (for now), and I’ve been doing sort of well with it.  I’ve done a bit of tweaking, I now have my own domain and am slowly working now towards upgrading and building a bit more stuff around the site.  I mean, I NEVER expect to take off and all that, but hey, when your google rankings are not bad, you take advantage of that and make things look pretty. Continue reading The one about the TAPS support group

The one about D-Day…

Today is the 25th of October.  Just another autumn day for most people.

4 years ago, at around 10am, this day took on another meaning for me.

I went to my regular checkup, and found that baby A had barely any fluid, whilst baby B was swimming in her fluid.  We had suspected, then confirmed later, TTTS.  This day was horrible – I had so many ultrasounds, talked to many doctors, including one that told us we should make funeral plans for our babies.  The next few days were spent in shock and tears, as we came to grips with what was happening.

Today is our D-Day.  Today it’s 4 years since we got the diagnosis that changed our lives, and makes us count our blessings.

I look back at everything we went through with uncertainty, and the ongoing fear of the worst, and I can’t believe that we came through with our sanity and sense of humour intact.

The constant travel to and from Leiden, the endless appointments, the sometimes brutal honesty of the situation really did take its toll on us.  Then the weeks in the NICU, followed by months of therapies, as well as getting used to having 2 babies in the house… I seriously don’t know how we did it.

I know I make light of the situation at times, but please don’t ever think I don’t take what happened to us seriously.  I wake up each day and am so grateful that I am in this country, that I had access to the best doctors and the researchers. I’m acutely aware of how lucky we are. Every day I see new cases and I see stories that are so similar to mine, and yet so many different and sometimes sad outcomes.

4 years has taught me patience.  It’s taught me that my writing is important.  It’s taught me that it’s important to share my story.

I’ve met some awesome people and met some amazing friends on this journey.  I hope I’ll meet some more.  I love using my voice and my writing to help people understand my journey.

So here’s to another 4 years of memories, and facing each October 25th and staring it in the eye 😉

This is what 4 years of memories looks like (well, this is half of a box. I have another box as well).

The one about the oliebollen …

I have to say, I love this time of year in the Netherlands.  Yes, it’s a bit miserable, rainy and starting to get cold.  But there’s one thing I love every year – the oliebollen!

Oliebollen are traditional eaten at New Year, but from the first of October stalls pop up everywhere selling the delicious, hot Dutch-style donuts.  The smell is amazing! Continue reading The one about the oliebollen …

The one about the Wikkelkinderen…

I hinted a while back that I was working on a story that was a slight deviation from my usual style of writing – and it was published today on Amsterdam Mamas – a website dedicated to parenting in the Netherlands.

The story was my story, intertwined with a fascinating story behind a painting in a castle, not too far from my house.  However, the painting is significant to me. Continue reading The one about the Wikkelkinderen…

The one about the vaguebooking LUMC post

I kind of vaguebooked yesterday about what was going on and why I was at the LUMC, and also to my friends who mentioned that I didn’t sound ok with what happened yesterday – I want to reassure you I am fine. Thank you for the messages and the love xx

Continue reading The one about the vaguebooking LUMC post

The one about finding people who get where you’ve been …

Let me be the first to say – this is by no means dissing any of my existing friends, especially those who are close to me and have been by my side throughout everything.  You are all wonderful, and I value you all.

3 years ago, I was struggling with the TTTS/TAPS diagnosis, endless doctors appointments, not knowing if my children would live or die.  I was in a country where I barely spoke the language, with only my husband knowing the full extent of what was going on, and our parents to a lesser extent.  A lot of my pain and hurt I hid from public view (this is part of who I am) and internalised.  On top of that, being part of this mysterious 10% that got a condition that not many people understand, and not being able to find good, reliable and easy to understand information about – things were stressful.  And it felt like I was alone. Very alone.  16,000 kilometres away from my family and friends, and very little emotional support. Continue reading The one about finding people who get where you’ve been …

The one about bullies…

I dedicate this post to the wonderful Chaya who faced her bully with decorum and grace, and to my friend Tanya who has shown me what raw power is in her own fight with a bully.  There’s a couple of others who’ll know who they are as well (I hope).

I was recently talking to someone from high school – ironically our social groups were different, but we moved in similar interests and circles.   We were not friends.  But we faced similar demons and had similar experiences with bullying. It was really interesting to compare notes and stories, and also eye opening that someone else experienced what I did.  Continue reading The one about bullies…

14 Cents — MishMashMoments

So last night we went out for dinner with my parents. A old friend from bowling (yep – I used to do 10 pin bowling for a sport. Fun fact, I once came 4th in Australia) was driving through and crashing at my parents house so we went to the local pub where they have…

via 14 Cents — MishMashMoments

The one about coffee…

Anyone who knows me knows my love of coffee.  My best friend Michelle jokes that I know only 2 words in the morning – “Cof fee”

Today is one of those rare days where not even coffee is motivating me.  3 cups later and I’m still feeling lethargic and tired and not even ready to face the next hour, let alone grocery shopping and taking the monsters to kindy for another attempt at that drama.

So, whilst going to bed last night with a dream of writing the latest installment in the poo saga, as well as an update of all the things going on here … I won’t. I’m going to make cup number 4, and I’m going to try to wake up.

Proc

The one about being behind the #humblebrag

So lately I kind of stopped myself from posting a couple of funny kid related anecdotes purely based on the fact that they could be considered being a “#humblebrag”.

Let’s face it.  A #humblebrag is not humble.  It’s fucking bragging.  You’re telling the world that you got your kids to eat kale chips and quinoa without tantrums, death threats and breakages.  You’re telling the world how superior you are,  because your kids ate fancy cabbage and grass seeds.  Bonus points if your kid pronounces quinoa correctly. (insert eyeroll here).   Continue reading The one about being behind the #humblebrag