The one about the breakup…

Dear Albert Heijn,

We need to talk.  I feel we’ve come to a point in our relationship of over 3 years where we can be honest with each other.  You’ve been there through modified bedrest,  premature deliveries and anxious parents of twins who are afraid to leave the house . You’ve come in snow, rain and heat with my crazy orders of 10,000 diapers and a bottle of milk. Most of the time you get my order right, and I get everything on my list – and I’ve forgiven you for the times that you’ve  been out of stock on toilet paper and cucumbers, forcing me to leave the comfort and safety of my house for the real world.

Things have been good between us, haven’t they?  You’ve had a loyal customer who loves your home deliveries and looks forward to the monthly delivery of all the stuff I can’t be bothered lifting or carrying home.  I’ve had some good service and who can complain when you send around that good looking delivery driver who drops the load right in your kitchen and smiles at you as he asks you to put in your PIN …

I have to admit though, my attentions have been straying.  Things are getting expensive, and I’ve been forced to look around at other options.

And then, today, I cheated on you.

I discovered someone else delivers to  my door.  They offered me free delivery on items that I actually purchase.   They had good deals.  It was all so tempting.  Cautiously,  I compared side by side on some of my regular products – and they were cheaper!  I found myself clicking and building a shopping list and then … I ordered from someone else.  But it doesn’t end there.  I realised that I had already ordered from you  the same day! What was I going to do if you met on my doorstep?  I carefully scheduled a delivery time later in  the day, and prayed that you wouldn’t meet.

You were late this  morning. Nervously I paced the kitchen, hoping that you wouldn’t meet the new supermarket in my life.  When you finally arrived, I paid quickly, ushered you out and then raced around, putting things away so there was no evidence for when the next driver arrived.

And then, the new blood came. On time.  And he was so friendly, so nice, and  so efficient, I began to fall into a trance.  Everything was in my order.

Things used to be  good  between us.  But now, you have competition.   The cliche is “It’s not you, it’s me…”.  I’m beginning to think maybe it is you …

As for next month, well, it depends on  how things go.  I’ll still pop down to you  to get the occasional  thing, but for deliveries, I’ve tasted a new world. And I liked it …

Sincerely,

Stephanie

The one about celebrating 3 …

Dear  Monsters,

Today you are 3.  It’s not been an easy road to get you this far,  fate tried to take you from us early on.  You’re tough cookies though, and you fought and showed your courage from the start.

I can’t tell you life is going to be easier now you’re 3.  You’ve come so far in the past 3 years, but you still have a long way to  go with catching up to your peers. I know you’ll do it, but no matter what, I’m going to pick you up when you fall, and turn you in the right direction  when you’re lost.

3 is tough. You guys think you’re big girls now, and I still call you my babies.  You are my babies though, and you always will be.  I won’t forget holding your tiny hands inside the incubators, or  that first precious cuddle we had after you were born.  Even though you’re big girls now, I’ll still try to cuddle both of you at the same time like used to.  Just don’t wriggle too much.

The road ahead is unsure, monsters.  We don’t know what the future holds for you, for us, for anyone.  You can be sure that I’m going to be  with you on that road,  making sure that we clear any obstacles together.  We’re a good team, you monsters and me.   We fight together,  and we  charge through life  like bulldozers.  We’re a little crazy, but when you’ve been down our road, crazy helps us stay happy and healthy.

 So here’s to you, my crazy, happy, healthy little monsters.  3 years has flown by, I can’t wait to see you enter your 4th year in the same way you approach life – with enthusiasm, love and a touch of craziness. xx

Love,

Mama.

The one about finding people who get where you’ve been …

Let me be the first to say – this is by no means dissing any of my existing friends, especially those who are close to me and have been by my side throughout everything.  You are all wonderful, and I value you all.

3 years ago, I was struggling with the TTTS/TAPS diagnosis, endless doctors appointments, not knowing if my children would live or die.  I was in a country where I barely spoke the language, with only my husband knowing the full extent of what was going on, and our parents to a lesser extent.  A lot of my pain and hurt I hid from public view (this is part of who I am) and internalised.  On top of that, being part of this mysterious 10% that got a condition that not many people understand, and not being able to find good, reliable and easy to understand information about – things were stressful.  And it felt like I was alone. Very alone.  16,000 kilometres away from my family and friends, and very little emotional support. Continue reading The one about finding people who get where you’ve been …

The one about bullies…

I dedicate this post to the wonderful Chaya who faced her bully with decorum and grace, and to my friend Tanya who has shown me what raw power is in her own fight with a bully.  There’s a couple of others who’ll know who they are as well (I hope).

I was recently talking to someone from high school – ironically our social groups were different, but we moved in similar interests and circles.   We were not friends.  But we faced similar demons and had similar experiences with bullying. It was really interesting to compare notes and stories, and also eye opening that someone else experienced what I did.  Continue reading The one about bullies…

The one about the supermarket stamps …

It’s been a while, and I apologise!  Things have been a bit hectic around here with the start of kindergarten for the girls, some medical issues, a family holiday and well, general laziness. Mostly general laziness.

I’ve talked about shopping here several times.  Mostly here and more recently, here.  And then there’s the dierenkaartjes craze.  (Which in it’s latest incarnation, dinosaur stickers I got totally sucked into because of the current love of dinosaurs here. Still have a huge bag of stickers here that noone else wants.!)

The collecting craze doesn’t only extend to trading cards for kids here.  Occasionally there’s deals where you can collect stamps for a free dinner, or a 2 for one day trip, or the one that I’m here to talk about today – plastic storage containers.  That’s right, I got sucked into the world of spaarzegels hard.

Continue reading The one about the supermarket stamps …

The one about why I haven’t had a post recently.

I’d like to say it was because I have been busy. Well, that’s sort of part of the reason.  We’ve just dealt with chickenpox, family trips to Germany, a solo weekend for me and a lot of just general business.

I’ve also been battling some personal demons – I realise that I’m pretty open on this blog and that does leave me open to criticisms and judgements.  I’d like to say that they don’t always bother me, but sometimes this isn’t so true.  Sometimes they hurt, and I tend to shrink into myself when this happens.  I suffer dreadfully from self consciousness and often find myself overthinking things and wondering what I have done or why I am being excluded.  It’s me, and I’m trying to be more open about this instead of internalising a lot of things.  Part of the purpose of this blog is to help me develop the skills to talk about things that hurt and make me stress. (And that yippee! that you just heard was my shrink.)

I will post soon about the last 2 months and the sagas, but for now I felt I owed you an explanation about my quietness.  I’m not going anywhere.  I just needed some down time to realise how lucky I am.  And I’m truly blessed to have a support network of amazing friends who watch out for me!

The one about 14 cents and a village …

I reblogged recently an amazing post by a friend of mine – Jessica from Mishmash Moments.  I’m really happy to say that not only is she one of my favourite bloggers from her honesty and humour, but she’s a real life friend of mine.

Jess posted about a funny situation in her life – her bank account was down the last 14 cents, no bread, no petrol, 2 kids to get to school and running late.  Did I mention she’s also 24 weeks pregnant with baby number 3?  We can all relate to being in a similar situation, but Jess’s sense of humour shone through and really made light of something that could have been so depressing.

Continue reading The one about 14 cents and a village …

14 Cents — MishMashMoments

So last night we went out for dinner with my parents. A old friend from bowling (yep – I used to do 10 pin bowling for a sport. Fun fact, I once came 4th in Australia) was driving through and crashing at my parents house so we went to the local pub where they have…

via 14 Cents — MishMashMoments