The One About Underpants

I really want to preface this post by saying – yes, I will be talking about my underpants.

However, I think what’s important to clarify is this :  If you’re here because you did a hashtag search on underpants for reasons other than “I’m really that obsessed with one brand of underpants and I’ve been buying them for nearly 25 years and I’m gutted I can’t buy them here.”, this is your time to bow out of the post gracefully.   Thanks for the click! 😉 Continue reading The One About Underpants

The one about pockets.

I bought a dress the other day.  Hardly mind blowing, revolutionary stuff really, but bear with me.  I’ve started working again, and occasionally I want to do stuff like frocking up and looking like a human, rather than something that crawled out of suburbia, got dragged through a couple of hedges on the way and lost an argument with a couple of sassy 4 year olds that morning.  But enough about everyday life.

I bought a dress.  I’m very proud of this fact.  It was one of the first I’ve bought post babies, and I got excited about getting something new.  It’s something I own that I didn’t buy on a clearance rack because hey, it’s just going to be puked/boogered/stained on anyway.  I actually owned something NEW!  Without STAINS!  And I looked like a functioning member of society in it! Continue reading The one about pockets.

The one about how a week turns into a month turns into … well, you get the idea

A couple of months back I made a huge deal about how you should stay tuned, my blog was coming back … and how this year was going to be AWESOME because I was 40 and everything was under control.

And then… Life happened.

My girls started school, I started working, and all of a sudden life was lost under a massive cloak of ‘OH MY GOD I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR SLEEP LET ALONE A BLOG!’ … and so I kind of let things lapse.

Continue reading The one about how a week turns into a month turns into … well, you get the idea

The one about the breakup…

Dear Albert Heijn,

We need to talk.  I feel we’ve come to a point in our relationship of over 3 years where we can be honest with each other.  You’ve been there through modified bedrest,  premature deliveries and anxious parents of twins who are afraid to leave the house . You’ve come in snow, rain and heat with my crazy orders of 10,000 diapers and a bottle of milk. Most of the time you get my order right, and I get everything on my list – and I’ve forgiven you for the times that you’ve  been out of stock on toilet paper and cucumbers, forcing me to leave the comfort and safety of my house for the real world.

Things have been good between us, haven’t they?  You’ve had a loyal customer who loves your home deliveries and looks forward to the monthly delivery of all the stuff I can’t be bothered lifting or carrying home.  I’ve had some good service and who can complain when you send around that good looking delivery driver who drops the load right in your kitchen and smiles at you as he asks you to put in your PIN …

I have to admit though, my attentions have been straying.  Things are getting expensive, and I’ve been forced to look around at other options.

And then, today, I cheated on you.

I discovered someone else delivers to  my door.  They offered me free delivery on items that I actually purchase.   They had good deals.  It was all so tempting.  Cautiously,  I compared side by side on some of my regular products – and they were cheaper!  I found myself clicking and building a shopping list and then … I ordered from someone else.  But it doesn’t end there.  I realised that I had already ordered from you  the same day! What was I going to do if you met on my doorstep?  I carefully scheduled a delivery time later in  the day, and prayed that you wouldn’t meet.

You were late this  morning. Nervously I paced the kitchen, hoping that you wouldn’t meet the new supermarket in my life.  When you finally arrived, I paid quickly, ushered you out and then raced around, putting things away so there was no evidence for when the next driver arrived.

And then, the new blood came. On time.  And he was so friendly, so nice, and  so efficient, I began to fall into a trance.  Everything was in my order.

Things used to be  good  between us.  But now, you have competition.   The cliche is “It’s not you, it’s me…”.  I’m beginning to think maybe it is you …

As for next month, well, it depends on  how things go.  I’ll still pop down to you  to get the occasional  thing, but for deliveries, I’ve tasted a new world. And I liked it …

Sincerely,

Stephanie

The one about finding people who get where you’ve been …

Let me be the first to say – this is by no means dissing any of my existing friends, especially those who are close to me and have been by my side throughout everything.  You are all wonderful, and I value you all.

3 years ago, I was struggling with the TTTS/TAPS diagnosis, endless doctors appointments, not knowing if my children would live or die.  I was in a country where I barely spoke the language, with only my husband knowing the full extent of what was going on, and our parents to a lesser extent.  A lot of my pain and hurt I hid from public view (this is part of who I am) and internalised.  On top of that, being part of this mysterious 10% that got a condition that not many people understand, and not being able to find good, reliable and easy to understand information about – things were stressful.  And it felt like I was alone. Very alone.  16,000 kilometres away from my family and friends, and very little emotional support. Continue reading The one about finding people who get where you’ve been …

The one about bullies…

I dedicate this post to the wonderful Chaya who faced her bully with decorum and grace, and to my friend Tanya who has shown me what raw power is in her own fight with a bully.  There’s a couple of others who’ll know who they are as well (I hope).

I was recently talking to someone from high school – ironically our social groups were different, but we moved in similar interests and circles.   We were not friends.  But we faced similar demons and had similar experiences with bullying. It was really interesting to compare notes and stories, and also eye opening that someone else experienced what I did.  Continue reading The one about bullies…

The one about being behind the #humblebrag

So lately I kind of stopped myself from posting a couple of funny kid related anecdotes purely based on the fact that they could be considered being a “#humblebrag”.

Let’s face it.  A #humblebrag is not humble.  It’s fucking bragging.  You’re telling the world that you got your kids to eat kale chips and quinoa without tantrums, death threats and breakages.  You’re telling the world how superior you are,  because your kids ate fancy cabbage and grass seeds.  Bonus points if your kid pronounces quinoa correctly. (insert eyeroll here).   Continue reading The one about being behind the #humblebrag

The one about translating twintalk to singletonese (AKA the other ‘TTTS’)

It’s been a while since a post that wasn’t about the recent sadness in our lives, and thank you to all those of you who commented, read and sent messages about the loss of our beloved father, father in law and Opa.  You’re all amazing and it’s a blessing to know how much you all care. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

I’ve deviated back into my beloved genre of ‘taking the piss out of people who ask stupid questions’ in this post.   Today I’ll be addressing the most common form of TTTS – no, not the heartbreaking Twin To Twin Transfusion Syndrome that my girls survived and that has fuelled my passion to make others aware of this – but the other form.

Translating Twintalk To Singletonese.

Continue reading The one about translating twintalk to singletonese (AKA the other ‘TTTS’)

The one about the conflict on our doorsteps – parenting decisions

Let’s get one thing straight here.  I do not profess to be the world’s greatest parent.  I do things that others disagree with, but to be honest, having the World’s Most Feral Twins (TM), I do what keeps me sane.

I survive on wine and coffee, I feed my kids things like chicken nuggets and pizza, I try to feed them stuff like broccoli (aka the Devil’s Vegetable), my kids have toys that expand their minds (as well as ones that are just, well, f*cking sparkly noise machines) … but in all honesty, every parent knows it’s about survival.  We do what we do in order to help our kids grow and develop.

I get that there are many, many ways of parenting. Everyone has their own style, follows their own methods and I completely respect that.  After all, we’re all individuals, with different upbringings, different cultures, and different motivations.  We all have one thing in common though – we want to do what’s best for our kids. Continue reading The one about the conflict on our doorsteps – parenting decisions

The one where I was interviewed again … this time about my domestic abilities

I meet some awesome people along the way, and Jenny of “Dishwasher Required – The subversive homemaking blog” is one of the latest.  Jenny and I belong to a blogging group, and she recently put out a call for homemakers to be interviewed. Being the shy, retiring flower I am, I volunteered and the rest is history.  Click the image below (quote by yours truly) to go to her site and read the rest!

homemaker interview