At the bottom of this post there are links to a fundraiser. All proceeds go directly to the TTTS Support Team so that they can continue their amazing work with grieving families. Thank you in advance for your donations!
On the 20th of January, I turn 40. Crazy, right? I mean, 40 seems like you should have everything sorted out and be a responsible, mature adult and all that shit.
Seriously, no pressure. None at all.
I’ve spent most of the buildup to 40 trying to work out a lot of things. How I feel about it, to start with. After all, it’s a big milestone. This year’s also the year I’m looking to reenter the workforce, and work on some big projects like a Dutch based support group for TTTS and TAPS, help build a website, those sort of things. Definitely new beginnings, but I don’t think it’s really related to turning 40.
Then you read all this stuff about 40 being the new 30, and how you’re supposed to be empowered and feel young and blah blah … what a load of crap. Your outlook on life doesn’t change because you turn a magical age number.
Am I supposed to start a midlife crisis because I’m 40? Although I can’t really see myself buying a red convertible (how will I fit 2 booster seats in that?), or getting tattoos, dying my hair and drinking deconstructed lattes? Am I meant to be more mature and join the PTA, wear comfortable shoes and put my hair into a french roll for school pickups? Seriously, so many ways to go here and still no fucking clue which one to take!
I decided to start my 40th year a different way.
Birthdays are about celebration, and about giving gifts. Every day I celebrate that I have my most precious gift – my girls – thanks to excellent medical attention and care. I have my husband, our home, and we are happy. I don’t need anything except the occasional G&T and good company. I have all that I need.
Unfortunately, there are so many others who have been in the same position, and have not been as fortunate as we have. Every day, families lose their babies to TTTS and TAPS due to circumstances out of their control. Sometimes all these families are left with is a fading memory of the joy they once had with their twins.
The TTTS Support Team was founded in 2011 by a group of TTTS loss parents who had the desire to help grieving families in the same situation by sending care packages. These packages are put together by a team of volunteers, paid for out of their own pockets, and sent to anyone who requests a package. They are personalised, with names, dates and colours, nursery themes, etc, and often contain handmade items like Teeny Tears diapers, items from George’s Legacy (UK and EU), and a copy of Sunshine after the Storm. There is also ongoing support from the Fetal Health Foundation with information and counselling for families dealing with a diagnosis.
This year, I had the aim to raise $200 towards support packages for the TTTS Support team. I am so proud to say I’ve surpassed this already – and our current figure is at $520! However, the more raised, the more we can help families remember their babies, and feel loved. Donation buttons are just below, and it means the world to me that you would consider donating to this amazing group of families.
I think of it like this – buy me a virtual G&T to celebrate or commisserate turning 40. The jury is still out on how I feel about this fact. But what I do know is I want to give back something to the TTTS community – for the support and love they have given me over the past 4 years – and to recognise that I am one of the lucky ones.
Happy Birthday To Me. Please buy me a drink. I’ll be forever grateful that you’ve helped a grieving family remember their babies. Thank you 🙂