The one where I spend 23 hours in a hollow metal tube…

So, some people have really awesome ideas. Like going somewhere tropical for a vacation to escape the dull, dreary Dutch winter. Like Curaçao, or maybe Spain … or if you are a completely insane parent of almost 2 year old twins …. LET’S GO TO AUSTRALIA!!!

This is no small trip. This is a full on expedition. Pith helmets, elephants to carry our equipment, and a couple of Sherpas were only some of the things I wrote on our packing list. My poor husband shook his head and reinforced that Australian quarantine laws would not let me get an elephant through customs (not even disguised as a guide dog) and that the Sherpas needed special working visas.  He even nixed Plan B, which was hire a nanny to help out on the trip.  You see, I’d be doing the first part of the journey alone.  Alone in a hollow metal tube at 30000 feet with the monsters.  Oh, I bet you’re sitting there right now as green with envy as you can be over that thought.  I too, was overcome with joy at the vision of myself, sitting in a plane seat, watching Tilly tackle the food trolley and Schmemelie either commandeering the plane, or swinging from the luggage racks.  Or worse… poonami …

Enter my dad.  This wonderful man gave up 2 weeks to come stay with us and accompany us back to Australia with the monsters.   I’m not sure that the bribes of beer and cheese were quite enough either ;).

So the day of travel arrives, and we load up the car to go to the airport.  I have to say things went really smoothly from there – the girls behaved so well the whole flight (panic wasn’t needed nor was the gazillion carry on items I packed.) The girls were treated like rockstars the whole trip, they slept and ate well, and were admired by their adoring public … only the last 2 hours were awful, but that’s mostly because they were just over being on a plane.  So was I at that stage!

Top trips for travel with Toddlers.

  1. Buy them a seat.  It saves your sanity in the end.  Plus think of the extra luggage you can take!
  2. Dress them cute.  Seriously, if you have twins, dress them alike. Everyone loves cute kids and if they’re looking utterly adorable and still emitting screams that knock bats out of the air, most people are willing to overlook that and ooh and aah over their outfit.
  3. Pack changes of clothes in plastic ziplock bags with clean diapers/underwear. Why?  Because you know that everything is in the bag, you just need to take that and nappy change stuff to the toilets to clean them up, and you have a sealable place to conceal your poonami problem …
  4. Take snacks. Take PILES of snacks.  It’s hard to throw a tantrum if you have a cookie.
  5. Be nice to the hosties.  They’re the ones who’ll watch your kids if you need to pee or stretch your legs.  And they’ll make sure you have wine and coffee.  I can’t stress how important it is to treat them like gold.  Because hosties are awesome.

So, for now, I’m signing off from Australia.  Don’t worry, I’ll be around still – we have always got stories to tell!

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