The one with the retraction about my comments on carrots.

It appears that in the world, there are some people who take carrots just a little too seriously.  So I feel the need to dedicate a post on my blog to apologise about the World Carrot Museum, who, in their own words, declared my statement about the Dutch cultivating orange carrots due to politics and fashion ‘utter nonsense.’. 

Instead, I’ll actually now take my information from my esteemed father in law, a noted biologist with over 40 years work in the field and numerous publications and distinctions under his belt.

Orange carrots came with the Moors to Spain somewhere around the 800’s, where they were originally were cultivated for their seeds and leaves, later for the roots. They then made their way to France, and finally to the Netherlands.

I now would like to clear one thing up.  I didn’t say in my interview that the Dutch invented orange carrots.  I stated that they cultivated them for political and fashion.

It has been historically documented that the carrot was seen as an offensive tribute to the Dutch Monarchy during the late 18th century. It has been used as a political symbol during the tumultuous times of the rule of the House of Orange.

So, there you have it. A brief history of the carrot.   Well, at least orange ones.  I’m sorry if anyone finds me biased against any other carrots.  I’ve just only ever been around orange ones all my life – and I don’t know the others very well. I mean, are they trustworthy?  I used a purple carrot once and it dyed my skin purple … I mean, is that normal? The orange ones don’t leave that much mark behind …

So now, I would like to apologise.  To the free thinking, carrot loving individuals of the world – I am so sorry.

I’m sorry that the Dutch embraced the orange carrot and made it the favourite child. I didn’t know that it would open the floodgates on Carrotgate.  I’m sorry that in the 18th Century the patriotic Dutch just bred the shit out of our favourite root vegetable in their royal colour.  I just wasn’t thinking.

I would like to acknowledge the existence of yellow, white, purple and red carrots, not just the orange ones. They’re just as tasty.  I promise, I’m not colour motivated when I buy carrots – it’s all about the price.  Orange is just so much cheaper …

 

I’m sorry that such a thing as hutspot exists.  How dare the Dutch make a national dish from obviously a biased cultivation.  In fact, we should start a movement to ensure that hutspot embraces all colours of the carrot rainbow, not only the orange! Obviously the bias is strong, but maybe if we unite as a voice we can get purple, yellow, red and white hutspot to be just as popular. Or perhaps we should move to other vegetables in protest! Let’s mash our potatoes and onions with something like, I don’t know, turnips, where no colour biases exist!

Start making your carrot cakes with rainbow carrots! We can’t be seen as favouring one colour over the other!  Or better still, give a swede a chance!   “All we are saying … is give swedes a chance …. ”

People, we have to start thinking about the bigger picture here.  Obviously wars, disease and famine are not as important as we think!  You’re all deluded! You aren’t focussing on the bigger picture in life.  What really matters is the colour of a root vegetable and who cultivated it!  Your very existence is a lie because you aren’t supporting the right things and getting infuriated over the real story behind the colour of a vegetable. I’m sorry that I ever thought anything different.

And to my final apology.  I am sorry that a right wing, carotene soaked, root-vegetable loving  fundamentalist naming themselves ‘The Carrot Museum’ exists. I’ve kindly informed them that they can take a chill pill, make themselves a couple of carroty cocktails and perhaps if they’re short a carrot, pull the one out of their arse to juice first …

*Please note – before anyone trolls me, I believe there are bigger things in this world than who created a carrot.  Please, make a donation to your favourite charity in your name and maybe put your reason as ‘Because there are narrow minded people in the world who can’t see outside their own box.’  Mine will go to the LUMC Neonatology unit with a note about carrots …

 

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